What do you do when the love of your life decides to move to a different country? You’ll most probably burst down in tears and maybe even consider going with him. I’ve been there and did both. In my blog ‘When Are You Getting Married, [Insert Your Name]?’ I briefly touched on long distance relationships and said that this would be a topic for another day. Well today is the day to dive into this topic.
Can you see yourself being in a long distance relationship if your partner decides to move to a different country to chase their dream? In this blog I will be discussing three points you gotta have in place in order for your long distance relationship to work.
A Little Background Story…
When I was 18 years old, I fell head over heels for a guy. We were in a relationship and everything was going so well. I got the opportunity to meet the family and they loved me! To get along with your bae’s family is a BIG thing. It made the relationship even better and life couldn’t get any better than this.
But after 10 months of living in this fairy tale, it came to an end as he decided to move to a different country to chase his dream. I was heartbroken and gutted. Didn’t want him to go but I would’ve been a selfish and terrible girlfriend if I didn’t support him with his move. So we said our goodbyes and called it quits.
After a couple of months of dating other people and things not working out with them, we rekindled and decided to give this long distance relationship thing a try. I visited a couple of times and it worked for a while but as time went on, we ended the relationship (on good terms) due to many reasons.
3 Things To Keep In Mind In A Long Distance Relationship
- Communication is key and is one of the foundations of a healthy and successful relationship. So if you’re in a long distance relationship, communication will be ten times more important than a regular relationship! You better start getting the hang of using WhatsApp, Skype, Tango and even FaceTime. You know what they say: ‘Out of sight is out of mind’ so make sure you keep in touch with regular phone calls and video calls to make the relationship work.
- Travelling is a key factor in a long distance relationship. Talking on WhatsApp all day is all nice and dandy but when you’re so used to spending a lot of time with bae, you’ll miss their physical presence even more. It’s not just the kissing and touching you’ll be missing… but also the spontaneous meet ups and doing activities together. Travelling to see each other in person helps keep the fire burning so make sure you keep your suitcase on standby.
- You both need to understand that you can’t readily be available to one another due to your schedule and the time difference. So don’t be upset when you don’t speak to bae for a day or two and if you were only able to speak on the phone for five minutes. Just be considerate especially when you’re living in different time zones.
Also, find out how long your partner will be living in a different country. Is it going to be long term or temporary? Make sure you know what you’re signing up for to avoid disappointment which can lead to a break up.
Will It Work?
The only way a long distance relationship will work is if you BOTH make an effort. You can’t expect all the effort to come from one side. So make sure you both put money aside and take turns with travelling to see each other. From my experience, I can say that things will be a lot easier if you both take turns in travelling.
You will go through ups and downs like any normal relationship and believe me when I say that you may have to be the bigger person more often than usual in a long distance relationship. Having an argument with someone across the Atlantic Ocean isn’t as easy to sort out as oppose to being in the same country. So avoid having a tit-for-tat mentality as you would be setting up for failure. You both have to be mature for it to work.
Like I mentioned earlier, the long distance relationship thing didn’t work out for us in the end as we didn’t have these three points in place. I have a feeling that if I considered these points from the beginning, it could’ve worked out or I would’ve at least known from the beginning whether I really wanted to sign up for this.
Please don’t think I’m trying to put you off if you’re considering being in a long distance relationship. Because it didn’t work out for me doesn’t mean it won’t work out for you. There are loads of people who are in a happy long distance relationship. I give those people props as it’s not an easy thing to commit to. So if you’re considering being in a long distance relationship, learn from my experience and keep these three points in mind. This could be a temporary situation (depending on your case) so hang in there and don’t give up on each other just yet.
Sugars and love,