Have you ever gone through the same cycle in a relationship or a friendship? Every time you address the issue, you hope and pray things will change for the better but somehow you keep going through the same sh*t over and over again!
You’re trying your best to fix the issue but your friend or maybe even your bae don’t seem to play their role in fixing the reoccurring problem. This could be an issue that you’re both responsible for or an issue from their side. Either way, whatever you keep going through needs to STOP!
Same sh*t, different toilet!
There are so many different situations you can find yourself in that will seem like a never ending cycle. All scenarios lead to the same thing: frustration at its finest *sigh*.
A very common example is when someone keeps flopping on plans that were made in advance. If you’ve read any of my previous blogs like ‘How to cope with constant let down’ you will know that I’m not the biggest fan of this. To cancel on someone one or two times is fine but three, four, five times is taking the mick! Time is way too precious for someone to casually waste it every single time!
Another example is when someone cheats on you and doesn’t change after you take them back. They keep cheating on you after you keep giving them the benefit of the doubt. Why would you stay in a situation if you’re constantly being disrespected?
Time is precious!
K. Michelle said it best in her song Time. ‘There are two things in life you can’t get back: words and time‘. Just to quickly touch on why you can’t take words back is because you can’t take back what people have heard you say out loud. This is why you should always think before you speak.
The most important factor to me between these two things is time. I can’t stress enough how precious time is. The worst thing someone can do to me is to waste my time. If you’re a busy person with your hands full, you’ll understand what I mean. There are a million and one things to do so if someone wastes your time by ALWAYS changing plans and cancelling on you, it will definitely get on your nerves. Especially when you’ve tried to nip it in the bud before.
Assess the situation you’re currently in. If it’s not serving you right, whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, you might just have to keep it moving and distance yourself. You can’t afford to waste any more time after you’ve tried to sort things out on many occasions.
Enough is enough!
There are so many people out here in toxic relationships that’s only causing them sorrow. All they receive is disrespect. You cry more than smile which defeats the purpose of being in a relationship as your partner is meant to bring out the best in you.
Why are you still there? What else besides an headache is your partner giving you that is making it hard for you to chuck your deuces up and leave? Is it the good sex that is making you stay or the fact that you guys have kids together?
You’re tired of trying but don’t want to leave because you hope things will get better. But is it worth staying in a dysfunctional relationship after you’ve done everything in your power to save the relationship?
It will all get better in time
As hard as it is going to be, you have to walk away and do what’s best for you. You have to love yourself first before anybody can love you. It’s hard to love yourself in a toxic relationship because you don’t make yourself a priority.
But guess what, a lot of people don’t realise what they’ve got until it’s gone. I kid you not when you leave, your life will blossom and things will get better with time. Give yourself time to heal. There’s no rush.
Never forget that YOU come first! Stop wasting your time staying in this never ending cycle. Why are you punishing yourself when you know you deserve so much better? It’s not worth it if you’re not happy. Like Nina Simone said: ‘You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.’ I know, it’s easier said than done to leave someone you love but you will be okay with time.
Sugars and love,