Firstly let’s define what an ‘inactive friendship’ is. Imagine you had a strong bond with a friend but now the friendship is nothing like what it used to be. Instead, you are the one that does all the fighting to make the friendship work while the other person doesn’t try as hard as you or even care enough to save it. The effort is only one sided.

In this post, I’m going to give you 3 ways on how to avoid being a fool within an inactive friendship and instead come out on top!

Don’t ignore the red flags

There’s a difference between someone not answering or texting you back on the spot, from someone returning your call after a few hours or maybe even a couple of days, to somebody just blatantly ignoring you. When a friend ignores you, it becomes disrespectful and I’m sure you don’t like being disrespected. Don’t ever put yourself in a situation where you allow someone to disrespect you. From experience, I can say that you shouldn’t ignore these signs. Also, this doesn’t just apply to friendships by the way, this goes for relationships as well. Make note of any behaviour that is questionable.

There are many things to look out for alongside someone ignoring you. Questionable behaviour would be when someone doesn’t check up on you, takes weeks to respond back to your message or just has a selfish demeanour towards the friendship and does not admit when they are in the wrong. Observe if you keep going in a cycle and if it keeps reoccurring, draw a line. To put it bluntly, don’t let anybody take the  p*ss out of you!

Don’t be a gossip girl or boy

It’s better to take a step back than to say spiteful things about a friend through gossip. Gossiping about a friend can blow up in your face for a couple of reasons. For instance maybe your friend might have been going through some sort of madness. You know how some people can be, they may not like to share their emotions or what they’re going through.

By falling back, you haven’t said anything out of line and you are still being a friend but from a distance. What I mean with falling back is when you take a step back from a situation. If you know you haven’t done anything to offend them, just be patient and distance yourself. With time, they will come­­­ back. Trust me. You don’t solve a problem by creating another problem by being a gossip girl/boy and saying nasty things about your “so-called friend”. Play your part and be a friend by shutting your mouth and not entertaining any negative conversation about your friend.

Don’t get angry!

When you avoid being disrespected and you don’t gossip with others like what I mentioned above, then you will not get angry or upset. The minute someone around you starts gossiping about your friend, it can ignite a rage in you that will take over your mind by reminding you to be angry about your friend’s behaviour. Don’t fall for this trap and say or do anything foolish! Avoid this by changing the subject or by walking away so you won’t be influenced by their opinions. What you don’t know or hear, can’t hurt you or impact your thoughts.

A tip could be to lock off the phone and act like your battery died so you don’t have to listen to any negativity lol. Hey, it might sound rude but you gotta do what you gotta do for your own sanity.

To sum it up when people are not acting right and not making any effort, don’t chase them! Don’t chase somebody who is acting like they do not care as much as you about the friendship.  Just distance yourself. Give them space. You are not a fool for trying to save the friendship by constantly checking on a friend. In fact, it shows that you are caring and that you have good intentions. But know your worth and don’t put yourself in a situation where you are likely to be disrespected.

So next time you find yourself in a situation where your friendship is becoming inactive make sure to follow these examples so you can avoid being the fool!

Sugars and love,

CynTea x


Hey guys, welcome to my website. My name is Cynthia but you can call me CynTea. I’m a 6'0" tall Dutch Nigerian who lives in the UK. I am a lifestyle blogger with a sprinkle of everything else. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me by leaving a comment via the contact page. CynTea x


  1. A very enjoyable read, with some great pieces of advice that can be linked to both friendships and relationships. Thanks for posting!

    • CynTea Reply

      Thank you Charlene 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the blog. I really appreciate the comment

  2. This post is beautifully written and the content very useful. I like the tips. I agree we should know our worth in friendships as we should in relationships.

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