It’s getting closer to your birthday, shindig, party or whatever event you have organised. You wake up, head straight to your calendar and cross out each day on your calendar as you approach your anticipated event. Every time you think about your party, you start picturing how it’s going to be like and without realising it, you start making plans for you and “Him”.

You’re finally going to introduce him to everybody that night! So, you even start making plans for the day after your party by making sure he doesn’t have anything planned so you guys can go for breakfast together and spend the WHOLE day together like the night before was not enough LOL. You can’t get enough of him. You can’t wait for this day to come because he has no reason to flop you because of course, he wants to see you that day.

The Waiting Game

As the days approach to your event, you spend most of your day thinking about him. Butterflies start to flutter in your belly every time he crosses your mind; one of the best feelings ever.

Just to be on the safe side, you send him a reminder message; “5 more days left to my party hun”. He responds back saying “Yeah I won’t forget, don’t worry, I’ll be there”. You’ve never felt this certain in life about his attendance. You even start telling your friends: “This time he’s definitely coming”. They respond back saying “That’s great, I can’t wait to meet him”.

The next day your outfit has arrived and you try it on ten times to make sure that the dress is complimenting all your curves in the right way. Obviously you want to slay that day and make a statement – not to your other guests by the way, only for his undivided attention. His eyes should be focused only on you all night. His first impression should be “Damn, she looks hot”.

Almost There

Only three days left till your event. You are in such a good mood because one hundred per cent, bae will be there. His attendance is even having knock on *positive* effects on other aspects of your life! You are extra nice to people, your road rage has toned down, and you even give people way when driving without cursing. Every song that plays on the radio is your jam and you start having your own concert like you’re Beyonce or something.

As the day goes on, you receive a message from him saying “Good afternoon babe, how was your day?” The message lights up your face and even makes your mum curious as she asks “Why are you smiling? Who is making you laugh? Mum can be so cute and nosy (in a good way) at the same time, bless her soul.

The day before your party arrives and you’re in bed, pillow talking with bae…“I can’t wait for tomorrow. I have been so busy sorting out last minute stuff for the party. You’re still coming right?”. “Yeah, I’m coming,” he says. That’s the final confirmation you needed. Nothing can go wrong at this point.

Party Time!

Finally it’s now the day of your event. You make an entrance to your party. As you walk in, you hear a loud cheer and you become blinded by flashing lights as all your guests are trying to post your entrance on Snapchat. Your guests start flooding you with compliments; “You look gorgeous hun”, “You look so beautiful”. Soon you start walking around, looking for bae but he is nowhere to be found. You text him saying “Babe, where are you”. Ten minutes go by and he still hasn’t texted back. You keep looking at your phone instead of enjoying your own party. Every time you get a notification, you look down hoping it’s him but it’s not.

After 30 minutes, you receive a text, you look at your phone and see his name appear. You open the text and it says “Sorry babe, I can’t make it”. Your face drops and your heart sinks. People start asking you “Why do you look upset, you should be having the time of your life?” “I’m fine” is your response but deep down you are burning and upset. You want to cry but you’re a big girl so you hold your tears in. Your best friend sees you from a mile away and knows immediately what’s wrong. “He’s not coming, is he?” she says. You burst out crying like a little girl. The night that you put months into preparing turns out to be a waste and instead becomes the sh*tiest night of them all.

Draw the line…

So, have you ever been in a situation where bae constantly lets you down? If that’s the case, then I’m sure you can relate to this scenario.

Why do we as women put men on a pedestal and expect so much from them? Why do we give someone we like the ability to change our moods just like that? One minute we are happy, and then all of a sudden we feel depressed, disappointed, upset and angry when they don’t come through. We go from 0 to 100 real quick! But ask yourself, is it worth having a bad day when he lets you down?

Is it worth not enjoying your OWN event because he didn’t show up?

You will spend so much time being angry and upset while he is happy somewhere and moving on with life. Are you trying to prove a point to him by being angry and ignoring him after he lets you down? I can guarantee you that he probably doesn’t even have a clue that you are angry with him until you end up addressing it to him. He may even flip the script and get annoyed with the fact that you are upset with him! The situation is clearly not a win-win because you expect him to know that he did you wrong and want him to call you and apologise. Usually, that will not happen. You will be the one to give in and contact him to tell him a piece of your mind.

Girl listen, life goes on. The best way you can prove a point to him is by carrying on with life when he flops you and be happy and have a good time at your own event or whatever situation you’re facing. Stop giving him the responsibility to make you happy when you can make yourself happy! A guy should add to your happiness and not be the center of your happiness. Just think about it, you’ve spent money organising an event and now you are not even enjoying it because of one person.

Address your feelings

What’s funny about the situation is that he may not even be the only person who disappointed you. Other friends didn’t show up but you were quick to forgive them and not bae. “But he’s my boo and he can’t just disappoint me like this?!” Guess what, he’s human so he’s bound to let you down. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should let him continue to take the mick and disappoint you. Of course, you should address it to him but the key is how you address it. Don’t shout, come on a hype and start swearing all over the place. Have a grown civilised conversation with him and he will most likely want to listen to your complaints and understand where you’re coming from. I’m certain that this is how you would have addressed it to your other friends that have let you down.

Don’t treat him any differently for your own sanity

Don’t treat him any differently for your own sanity. Once you put him on a pedestal, the ball will stay in his court and you won’t be able to have control over any issue you encounter because you will let your emotions get the best of the situation. It’s good to follow your heart but don’t forget to use your brain whilst you’re at it.

Sometimes you don’t even have to address it to him. There is a saying: “Silence is the best response to a fool”. Some people have very poor communication and comprehension skills. The best thing to do in that situation is to fall back for a while. Just distance yourself. You will notice that you will even get less angry as the days go by. This helps in managing you anger as it allows you to think more clearly instead of acting on impulse and saying spiteful things in the heat of the moment.

Instead, think about yourself in the situation. It’s okay to be selfish. Learn from how you have dealt with issues with a guy in the past. Remember the outcomes of the situations and how upset you were. If the outcome wasn’t good, then there is room for improvement in the way you address issues to a guy. This will help you with controlling your emotions. Remember, YOU come first! Don’t let any guy have such a big impact in ruining your mood to the point where you can’t even enjoy yourself or be happy. Next time, take what he says with a pinch of salt so you’re not surprised if things do not go as planned. You’ll be surprised at the way you get less upset about things. Whatever plans you have made with your (potential) bae, make sure you have fun regardless.

Sugars and love,

CynTea x

Author

Hey guys, welcome to my website. My name is Cynthia but you can call me CynTea. I’m a 6'0" tall Dutch Nigerian who lives in the UK. I am a lifestyle blogger with a sprinkle of everything else. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me by leaving a comment via the contact page. CynTea x

4 Comments

  1. This is such a good really I like the fact how you highlight the points of getting angry when there no need too …. very interesting and it true do not rely all your happiness in one person

    • CynTea Reply

      Hi Abena, thank you for commenting. Yes, we shouldn’t surround our happiness around one person. People should be able to add to your happiness but not be the centre of it because when you have an argument with them or just a little hiccup in the relationship, your world will crumble. I will be releasing another post on this topic very soon so look out for it

  2. I do enjoy the manner in which you have framed this matter plus it really does provide me personally some fodder for consideration. On the other hand, through just what I have observed, I simply trust when the feed-back stack on that people today continue to be on point and not embark upon a soap box of the news of the day. All the same, thank you for this fantastic piece and though I do not really go along with this in totality, I respect your standpoint.

    • CynTea Reply

      Hi Arturo, I’m glad you did enjoy the way I spoke about this topic. Yes, we do not have to totally agree on this but I respect your comment 🙂 Take care.

Write A Comment