Have you ever felt the urge to snoop through your partner’s belongings? Let me paint the picture… You’re at your partner’s house and you come across a random box in their closet. The fact that you’re even going through their closet is another question of its own. Anyways, you see this box on the top shelf. Do you leave it where it is or do you go through their stuff?
Well Mary Jane Paul in the series Being Mary Jane couldn’t resist but to look through the box she found in her partner’s closet. According to her, she just wants to know more about her bae Justin. Is that a justified reason to go through your partner’s belongings though?
‘He Went Through My Phone!’
A couple of years ago, I dated a very weird guy. I probably don’t sound nice using the word weird to describe this guy but there’s literally no other word that describes his actions the best way. So on our second date, we had a lovely meal at one of my favourite restaurants. I was actually having a good time as we were getting to know each other over the meal. My phone was on the table (I know, it should NOT have been there in the first place *hides face*) and it notified me with a noise that a text came through. I could see the message without opening the screen and it wasn’t urgent so didn’t feel the need to respond back since I’m on a date right?
Well this guy thought otherwise as he took MY phone and said ‘Oh someone called [INSERT NAME] just texted you’. I was a bit confused as to why he thought it was okay to do that? Are you trying to be my boyfriend or my personal assistant? That rubbed me off the wrong way but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided not to write him off straight away.
A couple of weeks later, he paid me a visit and did the same thing AGAIN. When I left my room for a couple of minutes, he thought it was okay to go through my belongings again. You’re probably thinking how I found out? Well he actually told me and clearly thought it was normal to do that. How weird is that?!
Why Are You Snooping?
What exactly are you looking for? Do you feel like your partner is hiding something from you or are you going through their stuff ‘just because’? You should really ask yourself these questions before you decide to go through your partner’s belongings. I’ve debated this topic on many occasions and always tried to understand why people feel the need to snoop.
As you can see from my short story, I’m not a big fan of snooping since curiosity can definitely kill the cat. I know you’re going to say but what if he’s making you feel like he’s unfaithful, shouldn’t you put your Sherlock Holmes’ hat on and go through his stuff? And yes, that’s a very good point. I can see why people would feel the urge to go through their partner’s phone if your partner is making you feel like he’s not being faithful. But my question to you would be: Why are you in a relationship if your partner doesn’t make you feel secure in yourself? Should you ever have to doubt his faithfulness in the first place?
Just Talk To Bae!
Have you ever thought about just having a conversation about what you’re dying to know? Mary Jane Paul simply wanted to know more about her mysterious boyfriend but she NEVER asked him any personal questions. Even her friend on the show told her to just ask him questions! Thank God I wasn’t the only one thinking the same thing.
The same thing goes for the guy that snooped through my stuff. If he wanted to know something personal about me, all he had to do is ask. I may not have answered his question especially if it’s something very personal to me but in this way no one’s privacy is being violated. Communication is one of the core foundations of a healthy relationship so for those people who feel like they need to snoop for one reason or the other, try talking first. There is no harm in doing that.
Doubt = No Trust!
Your partner should NEVER make you doubt your position in their life. Doubt can take your mind to a place it doesn’t need to be which I’ll discuss more on another day. It can even make you do things you may not be used to doing like snooping which I feel isn’t something you should do in a healthy relationship.
Snooping issa no for me! Maybe because I’ve never snooped or felt the urge to snoop my opinion might differ from yours but like I said before there shouldn’t be any room to doubt your role in the relationship. You should both trust each other. If there’s any doubt, then you seriously need to evaluate the relationship you’re currently in.
Sugars and love,