This was meant to be a blog solely for my tall ladies but this topic actually relates to everyone. Even men can relate to it too! I will be writing in a girl’s perspective based on my experiences so just picture yourself in this situation by answering this question: How would you describe your perfect match using five words?
What’s Your Type?
If someone was to ask me what my type is, I would say: Tall, Black and Buff. With buff, I mean a guy who’s in shape with muscles. Let’s not mistake this for facial appearance lol. And obviously the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice *winks*! If he has facial hair then that’s a bonus but if he doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world lol.
But have I ever ended up with someone who matches this full description? Hmm not really… It’s either the guy I dated ticked two of the five boxes. So if he’s buff and black, he wasn’t tall with facial hair and didn’t have a dark After Eight skin complexion. Sometimes a guy would tick three boxes or maybe four but never all five boxes. We all have one thing that can make or break the situation. For me, it was height. What’s yours?
A little background story..
When I was younger, I didn’t have a particular type of guy I was attracted to. If the song No Type by Rae Smremmurd was out those days, that would’ve been my anthem. Growing up in a small town somewhere in the Netherlands didn’t expose me to a lot of multicultural people. I was around a lot of white people and therefore I was attracted to white boys. After a couple years of living in this small town, we moved to a big city called The Hague in the Netherlands and this opened a new world for me. My eyes diverted to black boys.
Height wasn’t a big thing for me at that age. It only became a factor when people kept pointing out my height. They still do up until today; that’s one thing that hasn’t changed as time went on..
‘CynTea is a nice girl, but she’s very tall’ is what some guys and even some friends used to say (in Dutch of course). Got so used to hearing the same thing over and over again to the point where it subconsciously convinced me to only go for tall guys. So that’s how I ended up liking TALL black men. As you can see, I wasn’t always like this…
“Sorry, I’m not interested…”
Dating as a tall lady can be tough. As ladies, we all have a type, or a preference shall I say. We know what we like and based on that, we know who to entertain. When a dude who isn’t your type (based on his physical appearance) approaches you, you probably won’t entertain the conversation to the point where you exchange numbers. An example is when a guy who’s a tiny bit shorter than you approaches you. But why do we do this? Regardless of the guy not meeting your height standards or in your case it could be any other appearance standards, he could be the love of your life? So are you doing yourself a favour by ruling everyone out who doesn’t meet your make or break requirement?
Don’t sell yourself SHORT!
Don’t lower your standards or settle for less when it comes to dating. But don’t be stupid when you do this. It’s not just about the height or the beard. As I got older, I’ve learnt that nobody is perfect. Being tall doesn’t mean the guy can’t have a sh*t personality. Besides his tall height, is he genuinely a nice person? Is he caring and understanding? I don’t know about you but I would weigh out the options here.
Don’t sell yourself SHORT because he’s a few inches shorter than you. Kevin Hart has given a lot of people hope as he’s shorter than his wife lol. I’ve got a friend who’s shorter than his girlfriend and he’s happy in his relationship. I can’t force you to come out of your comfort zone but it’s whatever you make out of the situation to be honest. I remember the first time I dated someone a few inches shorter and it was even more obvious when I wore heels as well. But because I liked him so much, I didn’t give a flying duck about the height difference.
Don’t miss your prince charming or your queen because of one factor that can be overlooked.
Chemistry is necessary!
If the guy is short or in your case doesn’t meet your make or break requirement and there’s NO genuine chemistry between you guys, then by all means don’t entertain it.
But if there’s chemistry between you guys and you feel like you are trying to deny it, then take a minute to think about the reason why you don’t want to pursue it any further. Is it because of what other people may think of your relationship? Do you think you’ll become a laughing stock because of him not meeting your make or break requirement?
I’m not going to lie to you and say that I would go for very short men because I’m simply not attracted to them. It’s funny because short guys love me *hides face* lol. There was a time I met a very lovely, good looking, short guy but there was genuinely no chemistry so it didn’t make sense to take it any further. See, I did give it a chance lol! At the beginning of the blog, I said that height was my make or break requirement. I used the past tense to share my preference. As I’ve matured over the years, I have broadened my horizons a little bit and stopped listening to people who like to remind me that I’m very tall. YES, I know lol!
I’ve dated people who are a bit shorter than me and it’s not that bad to be honest. It’s what you make out of it as I said earlier. At the end of the day, you should choose who you want to date based on your own opinions. If someone treats you right and doesn’t meet your make or break requirement, make a decision based on how you feel and not on what your friends may think.
Remember, people will always have something to say anyways. This is not a love triangle where your friends are also in a relationship with him. It’s YOU and HIM that are going to be in a relationship so it all comes down to how you feel. If you like him, then date him! There should be chemistry present that you guys can build upon and if it’s not there then there’s no need to force it.
Sugars and love,