There are loads of pictures of couples on Instagram and Twitter with the caption ‘#RelationshipGoals. When you see these pictures, you start thinking about your love life and often get lost in your thoughts. You end up asking yourself: ‘Why am I single?’

Being A Single Pringle For 4 Years

It’s been nearly four years since my last serious relationship. In the past couple of years, I’ve been dating but nothing has developed into a relationship.
‘You’re single CynTea, you should go on dates and mingle!’ Yes, I agree dating can be fun. But after some time had gone by, most of us would like to take things to the next level with our potential bae. That’s when things can get tricky as you end up finding out that the guy you’re dating isn’t looking to commit. You’re clearly not on the same page so now you’ve got to start from square one again *sigh*

‘You’re NOT A Failure!’

After going through a lot of heartbreaks, you start thinking: ‘Why is it always me? Why is no one into me?’
Last year was very tough. I went through a heartbreak and it took me ages to get over the situation. So yes, I’ve felt like this before and was very upset to the point where I called my best friend crying like a baby. Let me just say that when I cry and talk at the same time, I sound far from cute lol. I cried and said: ‘I feel like a failure and a hopeless romantic’. My friend stopped me right there and told me to NEVER say that again. She uplifted me when I was at my breaking point. This is why it’s important to have positive people around you who add value to your life.

Ever since that day, I have NEVER felt like a failure again even though I still haven’t met my Mr. Right.
Everybody’s journey is different. Some people are lucky to find their love of their life when they’re young. For others, the search for their one and only may take longer. This doesn’t make you a failure so erase that thought from your mind!

Do You Have Enough Time?

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a relationship before but when you’re in a relationship, you have to make A LOT of time for your partner. Meeting up with each other isn’t enough… You have to make time to pillow talk with your boo so be ready to sacrifice some sleep to entertain your other half at those ungodly hours lol. And of course besides making time for your boo, you still need to carry on with your everyday routine whether it be work, gym, spending time with friends and family and the list goes on. Sometimes you’ll feel like 24 hours isn’t enough in a day to do all these things!

Focus On Yourself

So now that you’re single, just make the most of the spare time you have. The time that you would’ve used to spend time with your boo if you were in a relationship can be used to better yourself. Sometimes you don’t realise how much more time you have on your hands as a single lady. I’m not saying that people in relationships don’t have time to focus on themselves. But when you’re in a relationship, it’s not just about you anymore. It’s about US! You always have to consider your other half.

Filter Out The Bullsh*t!

Being single doesn’t mean you’re a failure. This is the time to be selfish and focus on YOU. Use this time to evaluate the situations you’ve experienced so you know how to avoid these things from happening again. What type of guys are you attracting? If you’re attracting people that are not willing to commit then take a look in the mirror and ask yourself ‘What do I want in a man?’ Once you’ve figured that out, it will be easier to filter out all the unsuitable candidates. There’s no point dating someone who’s never looking to get married when you’re looking to get married one day. So when you go on dates,  find out what the guy wants from early so you don’t end up wasting your time again.

Sometimes you have to work on yourself and figure out what you want your Mr. Right to bring to the table before you can even think about being in a relationship. So don’t be upset if everyone around you is in a relationship. I know, it can get lonely at times but like I said before, we’re all on different journeys. Your time will come but for now just focus on yourself. 

Sugars and love,

CynTea x

Author

Hey guys, welcome to my website. My name is Cynthia but you can call me CynTea. I’m a 6'0" tall Dutch Nigerian who lives in the UK. I am a lifestyle blogger with a sprinkle of everything else. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me by leaving a comment via the contact page. CynTea x

5 Comments

  1. I have enjoyed reading your article. I have been single for.. oh well I don’t even remenber. I tried so many years dating but it was always all on my mind. I had the very wrong friends so my last year of having a guy ( cause its was not a date) I went on depression for more than a year. All the girls I called my friends left me during that hard time. I was alone, heart broken, and without a friend to cry on. It took me two years and on my own to get over the fake love and fake friendships. But at least now I know I’m strong and I can handle loneliness better in both ways. Focusing on myself, on my job had help me and still does to feel okay. And I only comfort myself that the proper day and time. Friends and my man will definitively come. I stay positive and happy cause at the end, Smiling girls always win😊. I honestly hope that ladies going through such hard time will find their way out of it.

    • CynTea Reply

      Hi Suzie, thank you for reading the blog. It’s not easy dealing with a heartbreak all by yourself. But you didn’t give up on yourself. You picked yourself up during a very hard time in your life when no one had your back. You are so strong! Just continue to focus on yourself and stay postitive. You will see the blessings that comes with living a positive life such as having good friends and an amazing man! Keep doing you and be patient. Your blessing is on its way.

      Sugars and love,

      CynTea x

  2. Ahhh! I really enjoyed reading this. The pressure of being in a relationship is so real; thanks to social media. What I believe is.. the right person for us is putting in the work and improving themselves so they can be the best they can be. It is important that we do the same as well. Besides, some of the relationships on social media are not as rosy as they seem. Social media is the highlight of our lives. Well written Cyntea. – Cheryl

    • CynTea Reply

      Hi Cheryl,

      Thank you for reading the blog. You hit the nail on the head! There’s a lot of pressure to get into a relationship. We just have to ignore all the pressure and focus on being the best we can be so when the right person comes along, we will be ready for a relationship.

      Sugars and love,

      CynTea x

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