How low are you talking when you say ‘let’s keep it on a low’? If you’re hooked on watching the drama series Being Mary Jane like me, you would know that Mary Jane Paul has come out of limbo and is now in a secret relationship with Justin. He made it very clear from the start to keep things on the low for while. MJP has no idea how long this will last for but all she knows is that she can’t say a thing to anyone about the relationship. Not even her best friend! Can you do that? Actually let me rephrase this, are you happy to keep your relationship a secret for as long as it lasts for? 

Is There Another Girl In The Picture?

I had my first relationship when I was 16 and still remember how my boyfriend (at that time) asked me to be his girl. I remember how he stated his terms and conditions straight away. ‘Let’s keep it on the low’ was what he said. Like a fool, I agreed to it. As you can see, he did a Justin on me and never stated how long we would keep it a secret for. So I was literally going with the flow and hoping that we would start doing activities in public. I couldn’t wait to tell my friends that I was in a relationship. But after a month in, I stopped hearing from him. The silence lasted for a couple of weeks and you know a lot can happen in that time! I felt so uneasy as I didn’t even know if I was still in a relationship. It definitely didn’t feel like that anymore. I hate that feeling of uncertainty.

To cut the long story short, I reached out to him after two weeks only for him to break up with me on the phone. The disrespect was on another level! All I remember him saying is ‘I don’t care about you anymore’ and hanging up on me. My heart sank all the way to the bottom of the ocean and tears wouldn’t stop rolling down my face. I cried for days! To make things worse, I found out that he had another girlfriend at the same time he was in a relationship with me! Hmmm no wonder why he was so adamant about keeping things on the low. It all makes sense now…

Are You A House Girl?

There are a lot of girls out there who have found themselves in a secret relationship. When I say secret, I’m not talking about keeping it a secret at the honeymoon stage of the relationship and then eventually telling everyone about it. I’m talking about only you and him knowing about your relationship.

Sneaking around with your potential bae can actually be fun in the dating stage. I fully understand why people keep things private until they know where things are going. It’s perfectly fine to not spill your tea until things are official. But now you’re in a relationship, can you see yourself keeping it in the dark for as long as it lasts for?
Personally, I can’t do it! I love going out and doing activities with my dude. Obviously, there might be days where you actually want to stay indoors and perhaps Netflix and Chill. But to do this every time we meet up is not for me. I’m not a house girl! When I’m in a relationship, I enjoy going out with him and flaunting him to the whole world. If I had the chance, he would be my plus one for every party I attend lol. I would be too proud of him to keep him in the dark so issa no for me! 

Does Anything Good Come From A Secret Relationship? 

Ask yourself, why is it a secret in the first place? Can you give any valid reasons for this? If you feel the same way about secret relationships like I do, then take a look at the situation you’re currently in. Do you guys even go out? Is he comfortable walking next to you on the street? You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t take pride in having you as his girl. He doesn’t need to tell every stranger on the street that you’re his girl but he should at least have the respect and treat you as his girlfriend indoors and outdoors. 

So if you feel like you’re being kept in the dark, have a conversation with him about it. If his reasons don’t sit well with you then you’re going to have to make a decision on whether you want to stay in this secret relationship or leave. It’s your call but know your worth. You deserve to be treated as a queen indoors and in public.

Sugars and love,

CynTea x


Hey guys, welcome to my website. My name is Cynthia but you can call me CynTea. I’m a 6'0" tall Dutch Nigerian who lives in the UK. I am a lifestyle blogger with a sprinkle of everything else. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me by leaving a comment via the contact page. CynTea x


  1. I’m in a secret relationship
    He said were secret lovers
    We’re in this for over a year now
    We agree on keeping it on the low side
    But for how long?
    I do love him

    • CynTea Reply

      Hi Andrea, thank you for commenting. If he loves you, then he shouldn’t have to keep you a secret. He should be happy to be seen with you in public and flaunt you around. Have you tried to speak to him about being more public about your relationship?

      Sugars and love,

      CynTea x

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