Have you ever watched a show where a girl declares her love to a guy by saying ‘I Love You’ only for him to respond back saying or doing something completely different? Some men will just kiss you to avoid saying it back or they’ll respond back with 101 questions about a different topic to distract you from the fact that you even said it in the first place!
His reaction has got you thinking all kind of things… Does he even love me? Did I say it too soon? Are we on the same page? Hmm don’t you hate that feeling of uncertainty? It’s like you regret saying it all together! So that leads me to asking this question: When is the right time to say ‘I Love You’ to your partner? I’ll be using ily as a short version of ‘I Love You’ in this blog and will also be writing in a girl’s perspective so if you’re a guy, just put yourself in my shoes. Don’t be fooled this, men can be a victim of this too.
Why Don’t People Say ‘I Love You’?
Saying ‘I Love You’ is a heavy statement. I’m not talking about when you kiss your girls goodbye and say ily after a night out. I’m talking about saying it to your partner in a way to express the love and feelings you have for him. There are a lot of people that aren’t afraid to express their feelings. From saying ‘I love you hun’ to ‘Love you so much babe’ on a daily basis. Some people say it so much to the point where you can actually say ‘I know babe, I love you too’ lol.
But not everyone is like that. There are many reasons why people don’t say ily. Besides it being a big statement, some people don’t want to come across soft and sweet. I believe it’s mainly guys who think this way…
A lot of people are scared to be the first person to say ily in a relationship. They don’t want to scare their partner away by saying this as it isn’t something you just throw in a conversation when you haven’t said it to them before.
Another reason why some people don’t say it could be due to the feelings not being mutual. As harsh as this may sound, maybe your bae doesn’t love you the same way as you do…
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Ask yourself, why are you saying ily? Are you saying it to express your feelings to bae or are you only saying it so he can say it back to make you feel “loved”? This reminds me of an episode of Being Mary Jane when Mary Jane Paul had sex with a guy who she just met (he later became her boyfriend) and told him to say ily to her when they were “making love”. I get it, everyone wants to be or feel loved.
But as much as people hold this ‘I Love You’ statement high, these are just words. Don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s a big statement. I like the whole lovey dovey thing when you say ily to your bae and vice versa..
But you’ll know when someone loves you by looking at their actions. They don’t say actions speak louder than words for nothing. I don’t know about you but I’d rather have someone show me they love me than constantly say they love me without seeing any actions to back this up. My dad hardly says I love you. If you guys could just catch a glimpse of the times my sister and I forced him to say ily to us let alone his wife, you would laugh your head off lol. But the way he loves my mum is indescribable. He loves my mother from head to toe and you can see the love he has for her in his actions. Seeing the love between my parents is enough for me to know that the words ‘I Love You’ are whatever you want it to be.
When Is The Right Time To Say ‘I Love You’?
So when is the right time to say this? There is no allocated time frame in a relationship to start saying ily. I can’t tell you to start saying it when you’re three months in a relationship because I don’t know how you feel about your partner. I can only go by what you tell me but that still isn’t enough for me to tell you whether you love him or not. Only you know how you truly feel about your bae.
So with that being said, the only piece of advice I can give you is to say ily when you’re 100% sure that you love your partner and that you’re not saying it throw a pity party for yourself. Don’t say it to just feel “loved”! As much as you want him to be genuine with his love, you have to play your role too.
Also, I would advise you to only say ily when you’re okay with whatever way he decides to respond. It’s not certain if he’ll say it back to you. But what I will say is the right time to say ‘I Love You’ is when you truly love him and accept his way of expressing his love to you.
Sugars and love,