Have you ever found yourself breaking up with your ex only for things to feel like nothing has changed? Let me paint the picture… You’re still in regular contact with each other by having your daily WhatsApp debates, still sending each other memes through Instagram and let’s not forget about acting lovey-dovey like nothing has changed… This could be from days to months after the breakup! So when is the relationship really over I hear you say? Good question! Let’s dive straight into it.
“Are You Guys Still Together?”
Every couple has something that they would describe as ‘that’s our thing’. It could be from having a date night scheduled every Friday night to going back and forth with WhatsApp voice notes during working hours. It varies from couple to couple. Now imagine if “this thing” was to carry on after the breakup…
I’ve experienced a few breakups in my lifetime that didn’t make any difference to the relationship. My ex and I still continued to talk for months after the breakup like nothing happened. And this is where things can get a bit sticky and dangerous… When you carry on treating each other the same, it will not only make you think but also feel like you never really broke up.
And let’s not forget about the idea of trying to stay friends with an ex. It shouldn’t be that complicated, right? Well, it’s not as easy as it sounds but that’s a topic for another day.
Not Such A Happy Ever After…
There have been times where I got my happy ever after and ended up working things out with my ex. But there have also been times where the breakup was very much real…
A relationship is pretty much done when all of the activities stop. No more date nights, no more flirting, no more WhatsApp debates and no more sharing of memes on Instagram. These things can carry on for a while after a break up which can make it even harder for you to come to terms with things. But until someone decides to take that first step to put an end to the situationship, all of these things will carry on which will stop you from going your separate ways.
When Are YOU Really Done With The Relationship?
After months of breaking up, both parties can still have feelings for each other. But don’t forget that these feelings can also be one-sided. Your ex could just distance themselves or pull you to the side to end the situationship once and for all.
So that changes the question to when are YOU really done with the relationship? Well, I believe that the relationship comes to an end when you fully accept that it’s over and move on.
Just think about it, a breakup automatically forces you to turn the page and start a new chapter in your life. You can’t start this chapter properly if you’re still clinging onto a relationship that doesn’t exist anymore. Especially when your ex has made it clear about going their separate ways.
The future is looking bright and you’ll realise that when you accept that it’s over. Whether you’ll get back together or not is something we’ll never know… But just make that the least of your problem right now as this can really stop you from moving on. I won’t lie to you, it’s gonna hurt like hell at first but you just have to be strong. You will get through this! I’ll leave you with a phrase I got from the amazing phone app Sprinkle for Jesus that gave me a lot of strength to move on from a past relationship: ‘Your wound is probably not your fault but your healing is your responsibility.’ Just take this in and do what’s best for you to heal so you can turn to the next page of your life. It will all get better with time.
Sugars and love,