When some people hear the word compromise, they literally jump into defense mood as if someone just threw a jab at them. I recently came across a few Instagram posts where some women were very much against compromising. They said that compromising is a no-no in a relationship as your partner should love you for who you are. How do you feel about this statement? Do you agree?
So Why Do People HATE Compromising?
I don’t actually think people have an issue with compromising. I think that compromising has been labelled as an issue depending on what’s being suggested to change or to happen. Let me paint the picture…
A guy meets this very beautiful girl who wears make-up. Not too much make-up, but just enough foundation to cover the blemishes and a bit of mascara to make her eyes look alive. They end up dating for a while and things progress into a relationship. As time went on, her partner suddenly started complaining about her make-up being too much and has asked her to wear less of it…
So this is a perfect example where I can see a lot of people saying: ‘To hell with compromising! Why should she wear less make-up? Didn’t he fall in love with her when she was wearing make-up?’ These are very good questions because I’ve actually been that girl in this scenario so I understand your frustration. I was confused as to why my make-up was suddenly an issue and that leads me back to my original point…
Compromising is ONLY an issue depending on what’s being suggested to change or to happen. You can argue and say that he should’ve told her from the beginning that he wasn’t into make-up but do you really think that conversation would’ve end up well? Hell no! I don’t think there’s a right or wrong time to tell any girl that she wears too much make-up to be honest… Having said that, the timing of your suggested compromise can be used against you in court lol. So don’t be surprised if your partner isn’t jumping for joy when you suggest a change.
We’ve All Compromised Before!
After telling you this short scenario, you must think I’m completely against compromising but you’re wrong! In this scenario, I was caught off guard when my ex mentioned my make-up as it wasn’t an issue at first. We ended up sorting things out which involved educating him about make-up. What made it easier was the fact that he was very open to listen and understand where I was coming from. So you could say he compromised his understanding of make-up to solve the issue.
Whether you like to admit it or not, we’ve all compromised something before in a relationship and sometimes even in a friendship. Something as little as taking your feet of the table if your partner doesn’t like it is a compromise. If my ex asked me to take my feet of the table instead of wearing less make-up, I wouldn’t have thought twice about removing my feet. Again, it goes to show that compromising is ONLY an issue depending on what’s being suggested to change.
Compromising Saves Relationships!
You’re not always going to agree on things in a relationship and this is where compromising plays a huge role. Just deciding on this year’s holiday resort will not be easy because you might want to go Barbados and catch a glow or tan (depending on your complexion) on the beach when your partner is looking forward to do a Safari Tour in South Africa this year. So where are you guys travelling to? Someone’s gonna have to give in… Or are you telling me that you will end the relationship just because you both can’t decide on this together?
I can’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t compromise or tolerate in your relationship. It’s not black and white…
And it definitely isn’t always going to be easy to come to a decision together. But all I’m saying is that we all have to come to a level of understanding and reason with each other at some point by compromising something in the relationship.
Sugars and love,